It takes me time…..
Some things I will do with vigor.
Others take me more time.
I purposely keep very busy by overbooking my life with activities just so I don’t have to do some things.
Mourning is one of those things.
I’m just not good at saying goodbye or letting go. So I don’t. Of course the sands of time pay no attention to my reasoning about mortality.
And I don’t give much time to death and funerals. Even when I am present in the room for one, I’m not really present.
Ten years ago, my friend’s mother died. At the end of the funeral mass as my friend was walking up the aisle behind her mother’s casket, we locked eyes. I felt her deep sadness and cried so hard. I never wanted to feel that amount of pain or emotion again.
Today I mourned. It took me almost a year to just feel the sadness. There are plenty of good memories…but death is just so absolute.
Hugs,
marlene
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