A Memory
Everyone once in awhile, I have a flashback memory. Most time life moves too quick for me to look back. I was very fortunate to have a wonderful godmother. My father chose his Aunt Helen to by my godmother. Aunt Helen was the sister-in-law to my grandmother. My grandmother didn’t like Aunt Helen and told stories about her all of the time (silly bitty stories). My mother didn’t care for my godmother too much either. But she was my father’s favorite Aunt because she showered him with attention. She was always complimenting my Dad in front of people – even about the way he walked.
Aunt Helen went out of her way for every single little event in my life. She was a widow and never had any children. For every birthday, Christmas, Easter, a good report card, etc. she sent me card with money. She had several godchildren and did this for each of them. When I was in second grade and I was making my First Communion, Aunt Helen gave my Mom $100 to buy my outfit. $100 was a lot back in the late 70’s. Over the years, although Aunt Helen tried very hard, I never took to her. I always felt like if I liked her, then my Mother would be upset. Aunt Helen showered me with praise and love and received little in return. Maybe my Mother was jealous or maybe she just felt judged by my Father’s family.
When I moved out and got my first apartment with a friend, Aunt Helen came over to see it. She brought me linens and corningware pots which turned out to be very useful. After coming to a party at my house, she noticed that I didn’t have a utensil holder. We just placed the knives and forks in the drawer. The following day, Aunt Helen had car service bring her to my house to drop off a large utensil holder. She then kissed me and left in car service. Did I forget to say that she was 80 years old at the time? Not only was Aunt Helen kind to me, she was kind to everyone else in the family. She was selfless and helped out whenever she could.
Aunt Helen died on New Years Day a few years ago. It took me awhile to go to her grave because I felt so terrible. Last summer, I went there with flowers. When I arrived at the cemetery, it was cloudy. When I went to Aunt Helen’s grave and planted the flowers, warm sun beamed on my back and I know she forgave me for my lack of attention and love.
Whenever I think about her, I realize that she loved me and the entire family unconditionally. I wish I had done more and given more of myself when she was alive.
Hugs,
marlene
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