One of the hardest things I had to do………..
I got the call that you were sick and to come quick. “Come quick,” rings through my mind almost everyday since. What if I was quicker? Or what if I hadn’t gone at all? Somehow I think that neither would change the amount of sadness I feel now.
When I saw you lying there and your chest barely moved up and down, I knew you were near the end. As I sat before you and tears streamed down my face, I retold every story I could remember that I thought would make you laugh if you could hear me. And prayed that God would take you quickly. It’s not that I wanted you to go my friend – it’s that it hurt so much to see you so lifeless and although they said you weren’t in pain, I think you were. I am grateful that I was called ‘to come quick’ because we were such good friends. But I know that if I wasn’t called, you already knew every word that I said and felt. You were such a kind and loving and we were all blessed to have known you & to have been loved by you.
I wish you were older and you have lived longer. I remember being so scared at my house and I called you up and you woke up from a sound sleep. My nervous words that ended with “hurry up and come over here” meant enough that you rushed to my house made sure it was safe. Years later I made an identical call to you and told you I heard noises in my new home. I was alone and you “came quick” to check out what was causing the mysterious noise in my house.
When your heart stopped, the machine let out a long beep that drowned out every noise in the hospital. I saw the nurses remove all the wires and many said words to me, but I was frozen in time and was still hearing the death beep. I just stood there FOR A LONG TIME. You had left on your journey to heaven and I was standing in a hospital room with strangers. I don’t know how long I was standing there and can barely remember leaving the hospital, but the only words I said for the next few hours were…..”that’s it.” And I cried A LOT. I have never felt such a deep sadness before.
Saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do…………Thank you for rushing to my home, being my friend and giving me the opportunity to “come quick” and say goodbye. Goodbyes are never easy for me. I will miss you my dear friend.
Hugs,
marlene
Topics: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
November 27th, 2012 at 3:33 am
He loved you so much. He was so young and I wish I knew the words to say.