Life and death summed up in a few paragraphs
Colin was seven or eight years older than me – I don’t know for sure because I don’t know his birthday. I know he was seven or eight because he had made his communion in the Summer of 1971 on the same day I was christened. Colin couldn’t make his communion with his class because he was being treated for cancer. He was diagnosed with neuroblastoma, a rare cancer which affects children sometime around the age of seven. I know his diagnosis came in the winter because I remember my mother saying that she thought the bump (on his back?) was caused by a fall on the ice in the backyard. I know he did months of chemotherapy, lost his hair and had a wig. He died in the Fall of 1971, but I am unsure exactly when because I was just a few months old.
I found out about my brother when I was 6 or 7 years old on an overnight visit to my paternal grandmother’s house. My grandmother was shocked that I didn’t know I had a brother. She only told me a little about Colin. When I went to bed that night I heard my grandmother retelling the story to her friend in a low whisper. She couldn’t believe I didn’t know had a brother. The next day when I went home, I asked my mother about my brother. My mother was sad and didn’t say much. And for years, we never talked about him. Occasionally I would find a picture of him and wonder what he was like as a child, but asking questions to my mother or brothers just made them sad. I remember my mother telling me his middle name was Jude and she never prayed to that saint again after Colin’s death. I never spoke to my father about Colin.
There were only a few pictures of Colin tucked away in a drawer and a journal that he wrote for a few days. There was his bank also and I am pretty sure still sits in my parents home with money in it still. That’s pretty strange in itself. I mean I don’t even know what my brother’s favorite ______ (anything) was, but his bank sits in a place where it can be seen on a daily basis. I never saw any of his papers or even death certificate.
The only thing that I did know was Colin’s dog. But I always thought the dog was mine because because the dog and I were the same age. Colin received the puppy while he was sick and they named the dog Barney.
The only other thing I can tell you is where he is buried. We went to the cemetery all of the time and everyone was silent. No one said anything about him or even said a prayer together – just silence. So that’s all I can tell you about my brother. I could probably tell you a lot more about most of my neighbors who I have only known for a year. *If you happen to read this blog post – go and tell a good story about someone who has passed away. Keeping someone’s memory alive reminds everyone else that you loved them.*
Records for children aren’t kept online the way they are for adults so there isn’t anything I can find about him here online. I could probably request a death certificate from the state office, but NY death certificates aren’t too detailed. Update: I requested his death certificate – it had hardly any info.
Hugs,
marlene
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